A HOPEFUL GEEZER
Psalm 71, Zechariah 8:1-6
As hard as I try to avoid admitting it, I am getting older. Yes, I know, as they say, getting older beats the alternative, but it still provides all kinds of challenges and changes with which I would rather not deal. For instance, I am nearing the age where I have to decide how I want the younger generation to define me. There are several options. Curmudgeon comes to mind first. Being an "old curmudgeon" has a certain ring to it but it's a long word and it's difficult to spell. Fogy has too many negative connotations for my taste. Being an "old fogy" means you are more or less dismissed out of hand. No one wants to be thought of as irrelevant or useless and being thought of as a fogy would not be a pleasant thing for me. Then there is geezer. That has a certain appeal to me. Geezers are sort of eccentric, sometimes even funny...but again, there are problems with this term. I tend to think of geezers as old men who bathe only once a month, live in beat up trailers and avoid eating solid food. Being known as "an old coot" is only slightly more appealing and, on balance, being a coot, young or old, is not something I'd relish.
There is a certain status in being a member of the Baby Boomer generation. There are millions of Baby Boomers around and because of AARP and other things, they tend to get some recognition. But, sadly, I am technically two or three years too old to be included in the Baby Boomer category. I wouldn't mind being thought of as a sage, but I'm not sure I'm smart enough to fit in that category. In short, I'm still working on just what "old age" means to me, what it's implications are and how best to come to grips with it.
The author of Psalm 71 (which, by the way, is titled: "An Old Man's Prayer") is thought to be David. Here we see none of the youthful bravura for which David is known, none of the swagger or youthful pride, which lead to his earlier position as leader of the Israelites. Rather, he is lamenting the impact of aging on his life and he seems to be reminding God that he is in ongoing need of God's strength and support. He recounts all the wonderful things God has done for him, how he has always given God the glory, even more so now that his days are numbered. Likewise in the reading from Zechariah--written at a time when the Jews were returning from exile--we see the presence of old men and women--"...so old that they use canes to walk"--sitting in the town squares as a good sign of the return to normalcy. Zechariah is essentially a book foretelling the coming of the Messiah and Israel's return to bounteous living. That this return includes the presence of older folk is important. In God's kingdom, old people--by whatever name they are called--count.
To a large degree, we live in a culture, which worships youth and tends to more or less tolerate older folks. We are amazed that "old timers" like Tom Watson can still compete on the golf course or that an 82-year-old NASCAR driver recently qualified to begin racing again. We spend billions of dollars annually on lotions and potions designed to hide or erase the visible signs of aging. (By the way, I have come up with a very inexpensive way to erase crow's feet and all those other lines and wrinkles which have surreptitiously invaded my face: when looking in the mirror, I just take off my glasses and, bingo, all the lines disappear! I can't always be sure just who it is I'm looking at, but the wrinkles are gone). Most advertising on TV is aimed at those 45 and younger. When is the last time you saw on your TV a senior citizen in a beer commercial or a contended octogenarian joyfully swilling a coca cola?
Up to now, this must sound a bit like a lament, perhaps even the annoyed ramblings of a malcontent geezer, but as I age and as I try to discern what the meaning of the Gospel is for those of us who are no longer young, I find much to be said for old age. I have seen countless examples right here in this church of people who have refused to drift passively into their senior years. I saw a man who I am guessing was near eighty do an 18-mile bike ride to help raise money for our mission projects. I've seen older folks volunteer their time and energy at the Trenton Soup Kitchen. I've seen countless examples of people who have, in effect, refused to let age interfere with a life of loving service to others. Contrary to what advertisers and others may think, age is not automatically a barrier to productive living.
There is a marvelous TV commercial that points to one of the great gifts of aging. It shows a young boy, then a teenager, then a young man, then a middle-aged man, then an older man doing chin-ups in a gym. The background song keeps repeating the same phrase: "I wish that I knew then what I know now...." I don't mean to read any heavy theological message into this, but it interests me that the young boy has to really struggle and get a bit of help from his dad, but he does the chin up. Progressively, as he ages, it becomes easier until, in old age, it's not so easy anymore butÖthe old guy still can do it. The background song points to one of the great gifts of old age: wisdom and an appreciation for perseverance.
When I was a young boy, I recall a Thanksgiving dinner at my grandparents' house. Being young, I wasn't paying much attention to the conversation but I recall to this day my grandmother saying, "If grannies ruled the world, there would be no war." I have thought of that simple wisdom many times during my life. It may not be this simple, but it seems to me that the older you get, the more you see the futility and absurdity of war or the kind of competitive conflict that pits nation against nation. At the time, I remember thinking--as a teenager raised on John Wayne movies--that war was cool and that the world had good guys and bad guys and the best way to get rid of the bad guys was through war. As time went on, I came to see that my Granny was right...I wish that I knew then, what I know now....
One of the struggles in which I find myself engaged as I age is to keep my mind open. A mindset that one sometimes finds in older folks is the belief that "this is the way we have always done it and this is the way it should be. I confess that I have sometimes been that way about church music. I like the old hymns that I grew up with and I have found myself "harrumphing" when asked to sing something written recently. I have had to reluctantly admit that there is indeed some good stuff written after 1800 and that the more I hear it, the better I like it. That has also been true with regard to certain forms of popular music and art. I may not like it, but I can at least appreciate that others do and that probably Brittany Spears or Kanye West don't really care whether or not I like their music.
Eric Erikson was a psychiatrist who studied under and eventually broke with Sigmund Freud. One of Erikson's primary theories was that each decade has its own task. In our twenties we are trying to figure out who we are. In our thirties, we are trying to establish lasting relationships and families and to "make our mark" in some profession. For Erikson, the fifties and sixties and beyond were pivotal decades in which we are called upon to affirm our lives, to say, in effect, "this is who I am, this is what I believe, this is what really matters to me." In Erikson's view, there is no shortcut to self-affirmation; it pretty much takes a lifetime to arrive at a complete sense of what our lives are about. This doesn't mean that older people can't--or don't need to--change but perhaps that only after a lifetime of living can we more fully understand what's good and what still needs some work.
To some extent, this business of growing or being old has something to do with our state of mind. I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to feel like now that I'm in my mid-sixties, but I'm aware that my brain tends to let me think I'm younger than I really am. So, in a sense, here I am, a nice, only slightly neurotic 40-year-old trapped in a 65-year-old body. What I do notice is that more and more, my body tends to remind me that I'm on the far side of "middle-age" and that I need to pay some attention to that. And here is a lesson to be learned: we haven't got forever...at least not here on earth.
As we age, life takes on a certain urgency. The sense that important things can "wait until tomorrow" become replaced with the feeling that "maybe I'd better do it now." Is there someone who needs to know they are loved and valued? Maybe now is as good a time as any to tell them. Is there an old feud or resentment that needs to be faced and forgiven? Maybe today would be a good time to do it. Is there someone who needs to hear the word of thanks for past favors? Today might be a good time to speak to them. Is there a wrong that needs to be made right? What about fixing it today. We live and breathe and have our being through the grace of God. It is so easy to forget that and to assume that we are "owed" countless days in which to accomplish our life's goals. One of the great gifts of aging is the profound recognition that we--and those we love--haven't got forever, that our days are precious gifts and that our task is to spend them wisely and lovingly, today.
I am no expert on the subject, but it seems to me there is very little in the New Testament that deals directly with aging or old age. It could be that the Gospel is one of those things that transcend age that carries a message, which is true regardless of the age of those who believe in it. Surely Jesus was not an old man when he died. Still, those up in years may have, perhaps, a certain special appreciation for the good news of Jesus Christ. Chances are they have lost someone close to them and, going through the valley of grief, have felt the special comfort of God's presence. Perhaps they have lived long enough to recognize that human accomplishments, however wonderful they may be, eventually wither and are forgotten while the love of God remains steadfast, immutable and certain. Perhaps they have even done battle with God and have gone through periods of doubt and fear and have discovered that while they may turn away from God, God has never turned away from them. And maybe, having weathered and enjoyed all that life here and now has to offer, they have had time to develop that inexplicable sense that beyond the pain and joy of this life, a better life is yet to come.
As I was working on this sermon, I kept saying, "yes, but what about the exceptions, what about good people who die young, what about those who will never experience "old age," who have been brought low by disease, war, and hatred? And what about those older folks slowly drifting into that "long goodbye" of Alzheimer's or who are beset with life-long mental illness and addiction? I have no quick or easy answer about these things some of which I have witnessed "up close and personal." Perhaps it is just that as I grow older, I have come to see that all life, short or long, is precious in God's sight and that God's love can lift and support us no matter what our age or circumstances.
As many of you know, I used to play in an "Over 40" baseball league. For various reasons, including having a doctor tell me that I should not run anymore if I wanted to keep my bad back from getting worse, I hung up my spikes a few years ago. Last week I saw an article in the sports section of the Trenton Times about an "Over Sixty" softball league. I instantly thought to myself, "hey, maybe I could do that...softball is sort of like baseball only the ball is biggerÖand, anyway, what does the guy who told me not to run know...he's only a doctor...." But then a strange thing happened--and I attribute this to aging: I had an attack of insight and decided that it would be best not to risk injury. There is a special name for this insight, it's called common sense, and, at least for me, it seems to be more and more evident as I grow older.
Living with the guidance of wisdom and common sense doesn't mean that life will be boring. Age is no barrier to adventure. For every limitation that aging provides, God gives us new opportunities for growth, new and exciting challenges and choices. So I choose to battle against impending "geezerhood" and to try to live each day with gratitude and hope. Anyway, who knows, maybe if I live long enough they'll come up with an "Over 80" league....
Cynicism, illness, societal attitudes and various other things may try to keep us "old timers" down but hope and God's strengthening love will always be there for us. In a way that is timeless and ageless.
August 2 , 2009
Tom Baker
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